Rapides Regional 3-West
In 1982 this was spoken at an address in New York, New York: “In these times of development, everybody is in a hurry and everybody’s in a rush, and on the way there are people falling down, who are not able to compete. These are the ones we want to love and serve and take care of. Nakedness is not only for a piece of cloth. Nakedness is for human dignity, for respect. Homelessness is not only for home made of bricks. Homelessness is being rejected, unwanted, unloved, uncared for, having forgetting what is human love, what is human touch.” This week I entered thinking “ok, another week of clinical, more opportunities to learn and to experience nursing,” however, I didn’t know that what I would find this week was a humble spirit that seems to have been dormant for the past several months, that I’d forgotten why I was in nursing school and really what I’ve been doing. Honestly, I feel like the fire the Lord set ablaze within me that started me on this journey has turned into a fire barely burning at the end of an infamous campfire, waiting to have water thrown on it to finally put it out. I was exhausted and rundown as I arrived to clinical Tuesday morning, with little sleep, a night of new medications I tried to learn, there was a weariness and uncertainty on the seven-minute drive to the hospital. I prayed in my car, asking God to keep me standing today. Not only was I brought to my knees spiritually during the day, but physically as well. I was slowed down in the midst of a floor that seemed like the most chaotic day I had experienced yet, how was I to make it through the morning, much less ten hours? The Lord not only showed Himself to me through this client, but I was brought to a place of deep vulnerability where it didn’t seem convenient or appropriate. However, instead of trying to hide my feelings and keep moving on, I let the tears flow and words just pour out of my soul with the Lord just cradling me in a time where I wanted to run. This quote that related to nakedness as not just about clothing, but it is a matter of not overlooking each individual’s need for human dignity, no matter the condition, the time, the place or the situation. I forgot about this fire that has felt suppressed for several months, however, I felt it slowly beginning to burn on Tuesday as the day progressed. This quote from Mother Theresa reminded me that I will never take for granted the time that I might have with a patient to care for them well, for them to be respected and for the last hours of a person’s life, or anytime I have the privilege of working with them. Human dignity. May that be indelibly imprinted on my soul today, always and forevermore.
This week I’m going to focus on being attune to the needs of this patient who was in pain and being careful of the medications that were being administered and asking questions when labs or information triggered a red flag with me. For example, looking at my patient’s platelet count that was 98 when the bottom level range is 150. In that case I was thinking about his different conditions of cancer, his colostomy bag, the fact that he is on bedrest, but is extremely sick. According to the physician, his condition was terminal.
I was nervous about giving the Lovenox and after conversing with other nurses, we decided to hold the Lovenox because of his lab values. However, the doctor called later in the afternoon and requested we go ahead and give the Lovenox. I followed the doctor’s orders with the nurse. Because we had already used critical thinking during morning medications, I felt more comfortable giving the Lovenox after conversing with the nurses and doctors. I saw the process of teamwork in this dilemma between the different nurses and was surprised at how they critically think with one another when one is uncertain about something. I saw an aspect of nursing that I really respected on Tuesday as they worked together to solve a problem. In the end, the doctor overrode their decision, but either way I’m glad that we held the Lovenox until the doctor told us otherwise.
Previously learned knowledge from my dad always told me if you don’t know something, don’t ever be afraid to ask a question, to formulate a question in a way that is appropriate and consistent with a knowledge deficit. He taught me to have a posture of humility and to never pretend to have an answer that is not fully informed.
This week I feel like I grew as a person and a future nurse by leaps and bounds. Having Mr. S this week, although challenging, required me to have to reflect on this experience and how with every patient I provide goodness, the goodness that Christ has given me. As I worked with this patient, at his bedside, cleaning him, assisting in alleviating pain, talking with his family and providing therapeutic communication, I gave everything I had to this patient. I think about what a difference there might have been as a new nurse with 4 or 5 patients and how my care might have been different, but this gave me an opportunity to really discover what and how I will act and care for each patient of mine. As stated earlier, I have been in this extreme dry spell spiritually. The past few weeks God has revealed Himself to me in different environments that has reminded me of His goodness historically through my own faith journey and story. In this reminder, God shows up in places when I am sometimes in my most vulnerable state to remind me how He has called me to Himself and to care for His people to be a vessel. Although shaken up this week, I just lift up my eyes to my Maker and prayed with this patient that Lord you would bring him to Yourself and into Your Kingdom. I am thankful that I don’t have this responsibility, but I am forever humbled that I had this patient this week for my eyes to be opened. This beautiful statement makes me tremble at the power of Christ’s work within those who obediently follow Him. In observation this was said about Mother Theresa, “she could not differentiate her of an individual from her love of God: ‘Every person is Christ for me, and since there is only one Jesus, that person is only one person in the world for me at that moment.’” My prayer is that with each patient, the distinction is that for each person they would be Christ to me and that I may serve and care for them if my Savior were in the room.
